I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
