Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
