I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
