Your mouth is God's brothel.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
should my penis look like a turkey
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
