Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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