Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
