I want to stick my p in your. b.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
