Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
