so explain again why im purple
no
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Four minutes until I can fart!
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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