Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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