hell yes lets make some ravioli
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Randomize
