He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
