my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Randomize
