I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Randomize
