And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
