That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Randomize
