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  I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?

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• now this is a phrase i would probably get on a shirt

  Submitted by headtotoes on Dec 10, 10 at 11:26am

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• I didn't text anyone in this area code.....

  Submitted by said8ED on Dec 10, 10 at 2:19pm

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• You killed my twin, now I'm coming after you for it!!

  Submitted by Reikage_Sanshi on Dec 11, 10 at 1:04am

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• Thanks bro that really makes me feel good. Jerk

  Submitted by Thepresident on Dec 10, 10 at 3:30pm

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• I said that first sentence at my first high school reunion. He was kinda upset to find out a rumor that he was dead all over town. He only moved to New Jersey.

  Submitted by cfreymarc on Dec 12, 10 at 2:08am

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• HAHAHAHA!!! NICE!

  Submitted by hooty88 on Dec 14, 10 at 1:07am

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• I did. I'm the ghost of Christmas past. I got your number from your pimp.

  Submitted by soko on Dec 10, 10 at 12:29pm

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