I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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