I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Watching her eat just hurts me
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
