Texts From Last Night · Pterodactyl's Favorites

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Pterodactyl's Favorites Texts:

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(303): View more from Colorado

He felt like a one man threesome

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(951): View more from California

So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.

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(847): View more from Illinois

she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.

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(706): View more from Georgia

Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later

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(541): View more from Oregon

You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.

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(562): View more from California

even your uterus rejects him.

(1-562): View more from California

apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"

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