I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
