could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Randomize
