If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
So squirting runs in the family.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
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