you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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