Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
