bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
