Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
