you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
