Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Randomize
