During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
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