What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Please don't give away my fajitas
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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