I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Randomize
