Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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