I like my sex mixed with concussions.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
