Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
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