You're so nebulous sometimes
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
