just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
