just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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