Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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