I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Dear god my vagina.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
