I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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