Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
