I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Randomize
