hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
