Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Randomize
