Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
