So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
