the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
