it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
