Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Whod you bang
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
you guys were way drunker than both of me
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
